i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
