Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
