question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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