dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
