My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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