He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
