hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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