i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
