I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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