The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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