my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
