Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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