If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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