remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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