I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
