btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
