Barsexuality is the new black.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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