yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
