We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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