Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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