I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize