whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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