anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
