Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
