Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
