Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
