The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
