so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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