You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
