We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
