I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need to calm my uterus...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
