It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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