Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
