Can Purell be used as lube?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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