apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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