I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
