Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
