is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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