ugly people sure do ruin things
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
