i don't plan on having that self control this summer
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You ate ashes out of my bong
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
