Bisexual people are plain selfish.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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