your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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