My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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