I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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