I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize