then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
