this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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