Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
