she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
