Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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