I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
