Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
