I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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