Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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