I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
