he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
