Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sext me about skeletons
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
