first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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