All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
