When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
