Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize