Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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