you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
