i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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