My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
