You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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