I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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