after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
