some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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